Another fun treat for all of us today! Once again we have an interview with an expat who so kind to share her story with us (I love it!). This interview is with StarChild. I originally found her through her design website where she creates templates for wordpress and found that she had a blog (actually she has a few - My Own Moon is one of them). When I began to read it I was surprised to find that she is my neighbor over in this area of the world. Right next door to me in Norway…in Sweden.

My mind has been opened in a way that could never have happened if I had lived in the US my whole life…I don’t blame people for not being able to get out. But if you can, you HAVE to do it. You will see the world in a different, and better way.
StarChild

I hope you enjoy this as much as I did!

1. What brought you to Sweden?

Love! I met a Swedish guy a long time ago when I was just 13 through snail-mail (’94). We were pen pals for a few years, and just friends of course. Then I invited him over to the US to take me to my senior prom when I was 17 (June ‘98). There was an instant connection. He moved over to NJ within 6 months to be with me. We went to college together. And then about a year after we graduated he wanted to move back to Sweden (March ‘03). So I joined him, of course! It was an easy decision in the sense that I knew I wanted to be with him, and I wasn’t going to throw that away just because I was scared to make such a big move. But it was a very difficult year emotionally before we did it. But it was the best decision of my life. So now I’ve been living here for 4½ years, and I’ve been a Swedish citizen for the past year and a half. And I’ve never been happier!

2.What do you like / dislike about your new home overseas?

I’ve been here for 4½ years and most of the time I’m still in “Sweden adoration” mode so it’s hard for me to come up with things I don’t like right off the bat. I love that it’s much more relaxed over here, even in the city. Public transportation is fantastic, ubiquitous, and very safe. And in general, it’s just so pretty and clean everywhere in Sweden. The people are kind (although quiet at first, which is misinterpreted as rudeness) and quite smart. Everything is so practically done and made. My mind is blown over and over again by the simple and logical ways Swedes approach things.

There are very few things I dislike about here. I hate the pizza. Especially coming from NJ, where pizza reigns! The pizza here is just horrible, and they don’t even use mozzarella! They use some sort of Swedish oily cheese instead. Bleh! Also, while I have gotten used to not having AC everywhere, they really should have it on the busses and subways since there are no windows to open, and the sun beats down on the cars. Also, AC in clothing stores would be nice too. How fun is it to try on clothes when you’re a sweaty mess? Other than that I guess the only other thing I dislike is that it’s just too far away from my mom and doggie!

Oh I thought of one more thing. When it comes to travelling within Sweden, it’s pretty boring in comparison. Travelling within the US is such an adventure! Even all the day trips we would take to the beach, or to Pennsylvania, or whatever, there would always be something different to look at and the feel of being somewhere else. In Sweden, every town is pretty much exactly like the last one. You drive along and hit the same pattern over and over again: Woods….houses…town center…. houses…woods… rinse and repeat. The towns all look the same and have all the same stores. Even if you go to some town you’ve never been before, you always feel like you’ve already been there.

Don’t get me wrong. Sweden is absolutely gorgeous and I have enjoyed all of our road trips. Driving down by one of it’s biggest lakes is a great experience. Just, in comparison to the US, it’s pretty uneventful.

OK, one more! The spitting! Goodness it’s disgusting! Especially when you see young girls do it. I was a teacher for a while and the teenage girls would stand outside of the school and smoke and spit and smoke and spit. It’s absolutely nauseating and is definitely something a HATE about Sweden.

3.Do you have any advice for Americans who want to get a job or visa in Europe? What was your experience with getting a visa/job in Sweden? Was it difficult?

It’s very difficult to get a visa to Sweden. There are basically 3 ways to do it: student visa, work visa and relationship visa.

The student visa is not so difficult to get, I don’t think. But if you decide you want to quit school, or you graduate, and you want to stay in Sweden, it’s virtually impossible. You most likely have to go back to the US and find your way in via one of the other two visas I mentioned. There have been people who have been able to switch over while in Sweden, but it’s not always possible.

The work visa is probably the hardest way in. You have to find a job before you apply for it. And even then the Swedish company has to prove that you are not taking a Swede’s job. If you’re going to go this route you really should try your hardest to learn Swedish beforehand. Even though the majority of Swedes and understand and speak English quite well, you are expected to be able to communicate well in Swedish in most companies.

The relationship visa, which is how I got in, is the easiest way into Sweden as long as it’s legit. It’s a visa based on a serious relationship with a Swedish citizen. You go for a few interviews with your “sambo” (Swedish term for the person your living with but not married to, short for “samboende” meaning “living together”)

Keep you mind and your heart open and decide for yourself how you feel about something and don’t let others bring you down. If you decide you don’t like something, then at least you know it really is YOUR preference, and not because someone else fed it to you that way. But it will be much easier for you to learn to appreciate the differences of living in a new country if you don’t allow others to poison you.
StarChild

or spouse, and during the interview they ask you a bunch of questions to see if you are an a real long-term relationship. And to make sure that you will be supported by yourself and/or your sambo/spouse and that you won’t be living off the government.

Once you get your relationship visa you have it for 1 or 2 years. You have to go to interviews at immigration once a year to renew. After 2 years your visa is renewed to a permanent visa. And then you are set to live there as long as you want, with or without a sambo/spouse. After 3 years on a relationship visa you can apply for citizenship, 5 years if not on a relationship visa. Student visas do NOT go by the same rules. So if your here 4 years on a student visa, for example, none of those years counts towards permanent residency or citizenship. Both Sweden and the US allow dual, so you can keep your American citizenship.

Any further advice: If it’s at all possible, try learning some Swedish before the move. It’s difficult to learn a language like that when you don’t have it around you at all. But it will help kick start learning the language by the time you get here. Also, try to have some savings as well. During the interview at the consulate, they will want to know if yo have money to support yourself. Once you get over to Sweden, if not on a work visa, it’s going to be very hard to get a job. It would be ideal if your sambo or spouse could work once you make the big move, and you just focus on Swedish studies for a while.

4.What was the most challenging part of being an American living in a foreign country whey you first started out as an expat? Do you have any advice for those facing similar challenges?

The language is challenging of course. Fortunately, everyone who moves here receives free Swedish lessons from an SFI course (Svenska för Invandrare – Swedish for Immigrants). So you have no excuse to not try to learn. Unfortunately, the SFI classes are not always the best. Swedish is easier to learn if you already speak a western language, especially a germanic one like English. Swedish is very difficult for people from most African or Asian countries. But everyone is thrown in the same classes together. So someone who finds the language simpler to pick up will be stuck at learning at a very slow

You have to keep an open mind and take everything with a grain of salt. Everyone who moves to a new country has a different experience.

StarChild

pace so the rest of the class can keep up. I was extremely fortunate in my SFI classes. I had great teachers, started from the very beginning (alphabet, time etc.) and learned a great deal.

5.If you were to do it all again (moving to and living in another country), what would you do different?

Goodness, I don’t think I could do it all again. It was one of the most emotionally exhausting and frightening experiences of my life. Honestly, I think the way we did it worked well. Except maybe I should not have sent over so many worthless items from the US, and thrown them out instead!

6.Do you want to move back to the states? If not, what is it about the expat life that makes it all worth it to you?

No, absolutely not. I can’t say I “never” will. But right now that’s how it feels. I’m just really happy over here. I think the people are more real here, not as fake and not nearly as obnoxious as in the US. The way of life is much simpler and relaxing. Things make more sense over here, and are more organized. People are not obsessed with what they have and how big their house or car should be like they are in the US. The general feel I get from Sweden is that people are more concerned about their quality of life regardless of how much money they make. You don’t live to work here, you work to live. You get 5 weeks vacation when you start working anywhere. What is it in the US, 2? 1? Some places in the US you can’t even take vacation for the first year.

When I go back to the US I feel like I’m assaulted with “I’m better than you because I have X and Y” attitudes. I feel like everyone lives in a bubble and doesn’t understand that there exists much more outside of US borders. And I notice more and more each time how selfish people are back there. It all just makes me sick and by the time I’m on my way back to Sweden I can’t wait to get home (Sweden is truly my home now)!

7.What are some of the good, the bad, the ugly…and the funny things you have experienced as an American living overseas?

The good: There is so much good! It’s hard to not talk about it all. I guess one good thing is how I’ve been exposed to so many new things, and a new way of life. My mind has been opened in a way that could never have happened if I had lived in the US my whole life. I believe that Americans are very isolated. Yes, it is quite expensive to travel far outside of the country in the US, not like it is here were there are so many different countries close by. So I don’t blame people for not being able to get out. But if you can, you HAVE to do it. You will see the world in a different, and better way. I am happy that over here I can travel so easily to other places and experience so much more.

The bad: While many Swedes do know how to read, write and speak English extremely well, a large amount of them seem to completely forget the fact that they learned to do so over years and years in school as children, with the help of the many English and American TV-shows and movies. As a result, they expect you to pick up Swedish very quickly. Of course, it never seems to cross their mind that you never really had any contact with the Swedish language before you moved here, and you are an adult, and past the age where picking

Visit StarChild’s websites:
My Own Moon
Black Martini Design
Illoluv
Stavfel

up a new language comes very easily. Even if they had lived in an English speaking country for a while, they already knew the language because they learned it so young and have never experienced what it is like to live in another country and learn a new language as an adult. Within my first 6 months I had many frustrating encounters with Swedes who believed that I should have been fluent already.

The ugly: While I will admit that there are many ignorant Americans, not all Americans are. In fact, I’ve found that the people out here who criticize Americans for their ignorance are extremely ignorant and close-minded themselves. People who have attacked me with generalizations about the US and wild accusations have only proved to be just as unintelligent as those they criticize. They never have been to the US and they don’t really know anything about it, but they just love to hate it because it’s the cool thing to do. It’s definitely ugly.

The funny: This was a hard one. I’m sure I’ll think of more later when it doesn’t matter. But what I can think of is how much American culture has seeped into everything as “trendy.” One example – weddings. It’s very typical here for couples to never marry, and just live together and have children. Recently, however it’s become more of a “trend” to get married. And to have big religious weddings like in the US. Big gowns, lots of guests and generally expensive. I read recently that it’s a growing trend to have your father give you away at the alter, and that it’s because of how they see it in all the American movies.

8.Any practical tips for the new expats out there (like me)?

Chances are that you’re going to end up meeting other Americans soon. And it will be great because through all the new stuff you’re trying to get through, it’s so nice to meet someone who is familiar with the things you are familiar with and to not make you feel like you’re such an outsider. But, you have to keep an open mind and take everything with a grain of salt. Everyone who moves to a new country has a different experience. There are a lot of bitter people out there. You can’t listen to the negatives of other people. You have to experience everything for yourself without influence. Keep you mind and your heart open and decide for yourself how you feel about something and don’t let others bring you down. If you decide you don’t like something, then at least you know it really is YOUR preference, and not because someone else fed it to you that way. But it will be much easier for you to learn to appreciate the differences of living in a new country if you don’t allow others to poison you.

But do make sure to have at least one American friend close by (a positive soul preferably!) who you can go to when you need to rant about things and remember things as they “should” be.

9.Where do you think you’ll go next?

Nowhere! I am so happy here. Besides, starting from scratch (new language, learning new ways how to pay bills and deal with every day things) is not something I care to do again. Like I said before, it was the best decision I ever made, and I’m glad I did it. But I’m happy here so I don’t need to do it again!
Thank you so much StarChild for sharing your story with us!

Check out another interview with an expat in Italy!

• An Interview With Ms Adventures In Italy’s Sara Rosso