Something that has recently caught my attention is cultural etiquette in foreign countries. Especially in Norway.

Why? Well, I’m happy you asked!

I’ve had quite a few very embarrassing experiences recently having to do with being unaware of some common social behaviors in places I was visiting.

Here are two of these experiences just to give you a glimpse of the kind of things I have found myself clueless about. There are also a few that I wont share because I’m still a bit traumatized and embarrassed… I still feel so stupid about behaving the way I did in a couple of situations - even though I did not have any clue at the time. Maby one day when time has healed my embarrassment I will give you all a good laugh and share those with you. But for now you have to settle for two situations where I still did dumb things without knowing, but are pretty minor. This is just to give you an idea of why I have been thinking about this subject so much.

My embarrassing experience #1:

I was on vacation in Norway, eating at a Mc Donalds in Oslo. I finished my drink, went to the soda fountain and refilled it. When I sat back down at the table, my friend said to me “Uuhhh…I don’t think you get free refills here.”.  I thought - of course he was wrong (in spite of his living in Norway for 10 years). And I proceeded to explain to him WHY he was wrong.

First, the soda fountain was out for the customers to fill the drinks themselves. And second, McDonalds is synonymous with  free refills (in my American mind).

Wanting third-party confirmation to support my argument and prove that I was right (of course), I went to the girl behind the counter and asked here if there were free refills. She smiled and said “no”.

I felt pretty silly (okay, more like just stupid really), because it didn’t even cross my mind when I walked over to refill my soda, when I presented my arguments to my friend or when I asked the cashier to support my side - that they actually did NOT have free refills.

As insignificant as this situation seems, it really caused me to start thinking about the differences - small and large- between America and Norway.

My embarrassing experience #2:

This incident was a little more personal. It was also while I was on vacation in Norway, while I was dining out. I don’t remember what we were eating but I am a picky eater and have a habit of picking out what I don’t want and eating what I do. Now I know this is not exactly a “golden virtue” perse (even my grandma dose not like this about me) but I never saw it as offensive and never thought of it as that big of a deal.

So, while I was eating my food the way I always do (picking at it) my friend said to me “Kristie, you should be more aware of how you handle and eat your food. You don’t want other people thinking you are the stero-typical rude American.”.

Now I can guarantee you that he only said this to tell me that this is how other people are seeing me, and he knew I was unaware of it. We had dined together dozens of times while in the states and he had never said anything. It was only when we had arrived in Norway that he mentioned this (but only because he knows I want to know…not to offend or because he was offended).

I tried to brush it off like it was no big deal. But the truth was, I was SO embarrassed! I was just eating as I have always done. Not thinking anything of it. And to have it even implied that anyone would think of me as the stereotypical rude American. It made me feel sick. That’s not who I am, and I don’t care where I am in the world, I don’t want to be seen as that.

The truth is, I am grateful for my friend for being kind enough to point out these things to me. Because how else am I supposed to know? I have no clue. And it really bothers me that I am moving to another country, and don’t know the social etiquette.

In moving to Oslo, it worries me that by just being myself I will offend someone or reinforce the “rude” American stereotype. When really, I would love to know more about their culture.  I really never want to offend or be rude. It is not my intentions at all. I just don’t want the rest of the world to see me as living down to the low expectations of what an American is, or that I will unknowingly step on someones toes.

I have no problem with breaking rules…but only if I KNOW that I am breaking them. It’s going into a social life where I have no clue of what the rules are that unsettles me.

This will most likely be the first of many posts on this subject. I would guess that once I move to Oslo it will come up often. I’m sure I will have plenty of stories of my faupax and f-ups to amuse you as I learn how to “be” in Norway.

Please tell me what you think. What are your experiences? How do you feel about the subject? Maybe you can help me too.